Our Lady's Lamp

"Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore, taking your breath, stealing your mind...." While many people complained about the inaccuracy of The Greatest Showman, I was blown away by the deep, beautiful truths hidden in this achingly beautiful movie. I have seen it five times in theaters so far, and each time, I have taken something new away from it.  And each time I see it, I'm again reminded of - and humbled by - the power of a Dream and the liberation a Dreamer gives the world. I'm reminded, in fact, of the Beauty of the Christ, of that desire of Christ's heart: "I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)   Dreams Can Change the World - of Individuals and Groups "Every night I lie in bed The brightest colors fill my head. A million dr...

I'm a dreamer. I'm pretty sure I always have been, and that hasn't always been easy for me. It means I dreamed up crazy things I wanted to do with my life, didn't always hold to the proper ideals for a young Christian woman, and I utterly despise practicality when it imposes itself upon my life. And I had many, many people when I was growing up speak caution to me. Most of them were well meaning, I'm sure. But unbeknownst to them, their words of caution crippled me. They made me start to doubt myself. I allowed their words of caution to clip my wings. So, when I would have a crazy idea, I'd slap it down and chastise myself for not being practical. "Don't you know you can't do that?" "You cannot travel the world and be a responsible adult." "Do you really want to waste your time on school when you really just want a family?" "You know, if you'd just settle, you'd be married by now." "You'll ...

You know what is almost worse than knowing what you want to do with your life? Waiting for God to open that door. I used to think not knowing was worse; I was wrong. When you don't know, you spend your time in discernment, looking deep into yourself, asking God to reveal your heart to yourself. When you know, first, there is the thrill of an answer, of a sense of purpose, of calling. But that soon gives way to the continual craning of your neck to see where the door is, and you start fidgeting in the here and now. And it is not helped by people continually asking where you are going with your life. For example: "Yes, I am working. No, it is not what I want to do long term."  "Oh? What do you want to do?" "Be a wife and mother."  "Oh! You would be great at that, do you have a guy yet?"  "No...." "Oh.... well, good things come to those who wait. Why don't you go do something while you wait. After all, you are never you...

As many of you know, I know several couples getting married, have been to multiple weddings, and by the end of the summer will have had the honor of being bridesmaids in two of them. That's lots of time thinking about weddings. (I swear, if one more person asks if I have my wedding planned, I may want to strangle something though....). With all the hoopla in the news about the SCOTUS ruling on Marriage, well, it's been in my thoughts a lot more than usual. A little over a month ago, I got to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of two of my friends. Instead of doing the traditional songs for their wedding music, they did music that reflected their styles a bit more, and I have to say, it worked out really well. I really really liked the song she chose to walk down the aisle to: ( Listen, don't watch the video ). It's magical, and it was doubly so on the day of the wedding. But at the rehearsal, as her father was walking her down the aisle, I was struck with a thought. ...

For the third year in a row, I have watched The Passion of the Christ on Good Friday. For the third year in a row, I have cried like a baby. But I think I cried harder this time than any other time I watched it. Looking back, I can see little signs of how God has begun to prepare me for last night, but little could prepare me for the stark understanding of the truth that flooded my heart as all the little things culminated in the viewing of that movie. Jesus has been using Mary to teach me about the Annunciation (post in progress!) and about the beautiful mystery it was, and I have been drawn more and more to songs by Kelly Pease and Danielle Rose  from Mary's point of view, to a deeper understanding of how His whole life led to calvary and how painful that road would been, especially for those dearest and closest to Him. LAst year, I expected to walk the sorrowful road with Mary, but instead walked with John and Magdalene . This year, I walked both with and beside Mary and l...

“Unless you become like little children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven .” That verse in Matthew gave me so much grief for so long. I mean, the rest of scripture talks about us putting on armor and fighting evil spirits, about setting examples, and about not clinging to milk in our faith but instead becoming adults and eating “real food.” Especially being someone who has always taken pride in being told I am more mature than most people my age and knowing that I’ve been gifted with many different gifts and talents that tend toward leadership, I never was able to reconcile the idea of being a child with myself. So, in many ways, I ignored the verse and focused on the other verses that I did relate better to. But one day, when I felt like I had absolutely nothing left to give to God, when I felt like everything I wanted to do was being blockaded, like I was unable to do anything at all that would ever be of merit to the Kingdom, I looked up at the cross and just said, “I ca...

(I wrote this last night just before I went to bed.) We have 5 cats, and invariably, at least one or two of them will choose my room to sleep in, and often my bed as well. Tonight is no different. I have Ava and Rufus sleeping on my bed.... right where I want to put my feet. I, mildly annoyed, mildly amused, asked a friend why cats always choose the most inconvenient places to sleep and then get annoyed when we try to move them. And then I stopped and wondered if God ever thinks that about us. Do we often curl up to sleep in places that, while they look good, really aren't? I mean, we have the fuzzy blankets, the places we – or someone else – already made warm, we have someone to cuddle with... we have everything we could want. Why on earth would we want to be woken up and moved to a different place that's cold and not as comfortable? Why on earth would we want to move off of the warm laptop to the cold pillow? Well, maybe God wants us to move so that He can put His feet the...