Our Lady's Lamp

You know what is almost worse than knowing what you want to do with your life? Waiting for God to open that door. I used to think not knowing was worse; I was wrong. When you don't know, you spend your time in discernment, looking deep into yourself, asking God to reveal your heart to yourself. When you know, first, there is the thrill of an answer, of a sense of purpose, of calling. But that soon gives way to the continual craning of your neck to see where the door is, and you start fidgeting in the here and now. And it is not helped by people continually asking where you are going with your life. For example: "Yes, I am working. No, it is not what I want to do long term."  "Oh? What do you want to do?" "Be a wife and mother."  "Oh! You would be great at that, do you have a guy yet?"  "No...." "Oh.... well, good things come to those who wait. Why don't you go do something while you wait. After all, you are never you...

“Unless you become like little children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven .” That verse in Matthew gave me so much grief for so long. I mean, the rest of scripture talks about us putting on armor and fighting evil spirits, about setting examples, and about not clinging to milk in our faith but instead becoming adults and eating “real food.” Especially being someone who has always taken pride in being told I am more mature than most people my age and knowing that I’ve been gifted with many different gifts and talents that tend toward leadership, I never was able to reconcile the idea of being a child with myself. So, in many ways, I ignored the verse and focused on the other verses that I did relate better to. But one day, when I felt like I had absolutely nothing left to give to God, when I felt like everything I wanted to do was being blockaded, like I was unable to do anything at all that would ever be of merit to the Kingdom, I looked up at the cross and just said, “I ca...

March 25, nine months before December 25, is the Feast of the Assumption. Christ did not begin his time on earth as a human at Christmas but when he entered the womb of Mary. It was then that “the Word became Flesh” (John 1:14), for life does not start at birth but at conception. One of the great geniuses of the way the Church Calender is set up is that this falls just before Passion week and Easter. To truly understand the upcoming events, the life, suffering, death, and resurrection of our Lord, we must understand – at least in part – the Incarnation. This was prophesied by Isaiah and heralded by an angel (Luke 2:26-38). God, the creator of all things, of the world, the animals, the plants, the angels, and us humans, to redeem us from our own sins and failures, left his glory and took up his residence in the womb of a young girl. This would have been very poignant to the Jews. For the first time since the losing of the Ark, the physical presence of God was with them. Without...

What is joy? As I have been pondering and meditating on this word, another word has come to mind: Peace. Joy and Peace walk hand in hand. They are not the same, but they both are more complete with the other. But what is joy? Joy is more than just a smile, a laugh, a grin. Joy is something deep within that bubbles out. it bubbles into a smile, but it also bubbles into our lives. Scripture talks a lot about joy and it's side effects. It's good medicine, the appropriate response to the presence of God in the Ark of the Covenant, and to his miraculous conception and birth. Paul tells us to rejoice always and not be anxious or dismayed. Joy is a lifestyle, a grace. Danielle Rose's song "The Joy of the Lord" has been played many, many times in the past few weeks as I have meditated on joy, and parts of the lyrics are posted below. "God loves a cheerful giver." "Never let anyone come to you without leaving better and happier. Everyone should see goodness ...

I will be the first to admit that I despise the holiday season. As in, seriously, I dread the holiday season. Not only do most of my friends disperse to various parts of the world leaving campus and Longview feeling like a ghost town, I also hate the hullabaloo that goes into preparing for Christmas. Yeah, I appreciate the decorations when they are up, but I hate finding them, putting them up, taking them down, and putting them away. I despise how our culture has gone so far into politically correct, but I almost hate the whole "CHRISTmas" thing just as much because it simply becomes a fight. We have turned Saint Nicolas, the Bishop who gave to the poor, into Santa Clause who goes around riding a sleigh and eating cookies. We spend all of Christmas worrying about who is getting what for whom for Christmas and trying to beat the crowds. And heaven forbid that we not have a huge feast to celebrate with! Even the Christmas story has become so romanticized that is hardly resemble...